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Sep 1213 min read

The Future of Funerals: Embracing Death in the Digital Age

Updated: Sep 25



We explore the evolving landscape of death and remembrance in our increasingly digital world. From the growing death-positive movement to the rise of death doulas, we uncover how society is shifting its approach to mortality. We discuss the emergence of AI-powered grief bots and digital avatars, questioning their impact on the grieving process. We also examine sustainable alternatives like green burials and the importance of funeral planning. Join us as we navigate the complexities of end-of-life choices, consider the role of technology in remembrance, and highlight the value of open conversations about death.





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Episode Transcript:

Lana: Welcome to Signal Shift, by Horizon Shift Lab. We're your hosts, Lana Price, Raakhee Natha, and Sue Chi. Each episode, we explore the latest signals in technology, culture, and society, uncovering insights that will impact our daily lives in the future. Join us as we shift perspectives, explore possibilities, and delve into real changes in our world. Curious to learn more? Go to horizonshiftlab.com.


Hello, everyone, and welcome to another episode of Signal Shift. I'm excited to discuss today's topic: the future of funerals. It's a subject we need to discuss more openly and frequently. 

In the United States, we've long had what sociologists have called a “denial of death culture”. This refers to our tendency to avoid thinking or talking about death, often treating it as taboo. This cultural attitude profoundly impacts how we approach dying, aging, illness, grief, and even our policies, like our three-day bereavement leave, for example.


However, there's good news. We're experiencing a significant cultural shift. The “death-positive movement,” which is a term coined by the mortician Caitlin Doughty 10 years ago, is really gaining traction. This movement encourages open, honest conversations about death and dying, and with the argument that these discussions are not morbid, but rather essential for a healthy society. 


There's a lot to say about the industry and how it's been changing over time, but I'll turn it over to my colleagues, Sue and Raakhee, to see what you all found in terms of where the future of funerals might be headed.


[2:00]


Raakhee: Raakhee here, and I'll jump in. I think, yeah, prompted and inspired, really, by the death-positive movement and learning by that as well, as you mentioned, discovering the growth of death doulas. I thought that was really interesting. And yeah, I dug into it a little bit more, but it was so interesting to find out that there's something called the National End-of-Life Doula Alliance. There's also an International End-of-Life Doula Association, and the actual amount of doulas and professional doulas that are part of the National End of Life Doula Alliance has been growing. I think it was only founded in 2018, and it was around 800 in 2021 when the New York Times had an article about this, and I can only imagine that number being much higher now.


So we're seeing an increase in death doulas. And basically, doulas, often, we think about them with birth, which is so fascinating to see now the growth being on the opposite end of the spectrum, really, with death. But a doula, simply, the term comes from, it's a Greek word, and it simply means sort of a support in age. And so you could have a doula for any major life transition. And I think that's part of what the sort of death-positive movement is simply saying, we need to understand death as a part of life. And one of those transitions, we all have to go through into another form, right? And how do you support people through that?


So I thought that was amazing, and that's increasing, and clearly, more people are looking for death doulas, more people are becoming death doulas. What I found, and it prompted me to think about, surely, we're going to see AI come to play in this space also, as scary as that sounds, right? Like we see it in coaching and all of the spaces. And what I did find was I found one person who has kind of taken the domain of AI death doula. She has a bit of a home page there, in a website. And so it's kind of coming soon. So I don't know what's been worked on there. Is it just somebody who's starting up and has grabbed the space early on?


But I think it's, to me, it was certainly a signal of, we're going to see more and more of this, like we've seen with sort of virtual companions in dating and that kind of thing. If death doulas, even human ones, are increasing, I think there's a market for some people who may want to speak to someone virtually, who may just want a virtual companion, and somebody to help them in the grieving process after they've lost somebody. 


And so I think it led me to the concept of even the sort of AI death market growing. There's another company, and they've gotten a huge amount of funding. It's called Empathy. And Empathy is really more of an AI task bot around sort of tasks related to when somebody becomes deceased.


And whether it's sorting out things like an estatea estate will or just closing in on subscription accounts, that sort of thing, I think we're going to see a lot more in the AI space as well, with kind of supporting with these live transitions from tasks to the emotional support. But I think just the idea of the death doula, I think that that's my signal really, that might become a very normalized thing. That is, we all have one of those to sort of support us when somebody we're really close to passes on.


Lana: Yeah, I think for this topic, in particular, this idea of what's our normal, quote, “normalized experience” today versus a normalized experience… I mean, just one comment is that I was surprised to learn that this --surprised and not-- that this industry has really not changed very much. And part of it, I think, is because of that what I was speaking to before about the aversion to talking about it. And so it does seem like there's a lot of opportunity for change. And so, yeah, I appreciate the points that you brought up, Raakhee. What about you, Sue?


[6:24]


Sue: I want to actually follow up on some of what Raakhee was talking about, especially with the role of AI. And so one question for you all is: how would you like to interact with your guests during or even after your funeral, after you've passed? And there is a whole AI market related to this. 


And I learned a new term or several terms. It's called kind of grief bots, death bots, or ghost bots. There's a lot of other terms as well. But instead of like an AI death doula, it's actually an AI chat bot that is recreated of the person who's passed. And it's actually on the rise.


This topic reminded me of something I read in the Wall Street Journal a few months ago and realized there are actually so many other articles about this kind of service and the experience people are going through as they process the death of a loved one. 


It kind of, a lot of attention was paid… I think a couple years ago, there was a piece in the SF Chronicle about a guy named Joshua that lost his fiancé years ago and was still grieving and came upon this AI chat bot based on chat GPT, like the early days, called Project December. And through a combination of a couple texts and prompts, recreated a version of his fiancé. And he himself had a very cathartic experience and talked about it. It's a very, very fascinating read about what this kind of impact had.


Later on, as people used Project December, people had a lot of different kinds of experiences, including the one I read about a couple months ago. But it is really expanding. I mean, this feature that Joshua had was really just a very basic text prompt. But now, people are creating voice AI as well and even things that mimic your face and image. 


And so there was an article about China and how this is really growing exponentially in China as people are mourning their ones who have passed. And there was a father who was grieving the loss of his son and basically hired an AI company to recreate his face and voice to be able to talk to him. And similar just said, “I really need this for myself in order to get some closure and is something I hope I can meet my son in the metaverse later on.”


And even there are stories that this is also in unison with a funeral. And so the creator of an AI company in LA, when his mother passed, created an AI version of her to talk at her own funeral and then to answer questions from the guests using the AI. I think at the time it was kind of a mix of prerecorded, but now they can prompt responses that this person has never said before. 

And then the last case I saw is a person in Germany who has terminal cancer and talked with his wife and said, “what are you going to miss most about me?” And it was really his voice. So he contracted with an AI company and is currently creating, essentially, as much of a digital avatar of himself as possible. And imagines right now it's voice, but he hopes they can actually create a whole digital version of him that his family can interact with in the metaverse after he's gone; which for the record, his wife is like, I don't know about that.


It's a huge industry. Some market estimates are that it's going to be $123 billion globally. These companies are charging anywhere from a few thousand dollars to create this to, in the case of the German guy, it's $14,000. So it is a big market. It's called, they're calling it like “death technopreneurship.” And it's been fueled by things that have happened during the COVID pandemic, plus the rise of digital natives really thinking about what their digital life looks like after. 


And so I don't know how I feel about this, but to me, one thing's for sure, it seems with this whole advent of AI… When the time comes, I really need to have an opinion because I want to be able to control when it's done with this after I go. So I just thought it was really fascinating. A lot of feelings coming up around this. 


Lana: I have so many feelings about this. 


Raakhee: Yeah, I think my face probably says it all, but also having such strong reactions. It's so interesting. I can see again, almost like the death doula on why it would be supportive. It's such a sudden transition. So I get people needing to hold on, but how long do you hold on for? And how healthy is that and how normal is that? And it kind of speaks oppositionally to the death-positive movement, which is, say, normalize death and that something's ended and it's gone, not prolonging it. So yeah, mixed feelings about this, for sure.


[11:34]


Lana: I was going to say the same. I mean, I think I'll share what I've found, but I totally agree with that. I think there is also kind of what we've talked about before, which is moving back or going back to practices that we've had before that we've lost and are returning to. 


And I've been, I had the opportunity to attend an intensive bereavement training. And what I learned is that is actually kind of very healing to spend time with the body of the person who died, right? After they've died, to spend time with the body, because it really helps you come to terms with the death. And like you're saying, Raakhee, make the transition, right? That there is life before, there's life after. And it's very painful, but you have to go through that journey. And I think to your point, all of these various technologies and like innovations that Sue was speaking of, it just delays that. And it may not be the most healthy, mentally, but provide some comfort, however, to what expense.


And so yeah, I think what I learned in doing this research is that there's a lot that I didn't know about funerals. And like even things that were from like 2016 felt like signals to me. I was like, whoa, I had no idea. Like I really actually struggled because I spent so much time really kind of educating myself. 


And I think that's, for me, like one of the big takeaways that I took from this is that we have more options than the traditional burial and cremation, period. But we really think of that as the default for a funeral. And it depends on your cultural and religious views about what the ceremony and the ritual look like. But I think we've always been presented these sort of like, we have two options. And there's much more than that.


This is not new, but it felt new to me. So like the green burials. And so again, this is something that we used to do, but has now become a resurgence because it is a more sustainable form of burial. Because our current form, what I'll just call “traditional,” involves embalming, which is putting in a lot of fluid into the body, the caskets, putting concrete into the ground, and a concrete headstone. And that actually is not a very sustainable form for the earth and for the future. 


And so a green burial is really the most simplified form where there's no embalming, very- casket is of natural materials. You don't even might not even have a headstone. You kind of have a stone. And it's half the cost of, what a, now funerals are on average $10,000 in the US. And so that's like a whole topic kind of in and of itself.


But I think, one of the takeaways that I had is that we do have, as we shift our culture, we can recognize that we are active consumers in this market. And that if we're not, if we don't take agency, that we can easily get taken advantage of in a time where we might not want to sort through all the options and figure things out. And so I think I'm glad for us, and glad for myself, to kind of take the time to educate on this and to continue to follow it and pursue it. 


And so just curious sort of what comes up for you as you reflect on your own choices and your own agency.


[16:40]


Raakhee: I'm definitely thinking like you have a “do not resuscitate”. I'm thinking prompted by Sue, what you shared. Maybe there's like a “do not AI” sheet that we got to sign. And I really, I think I personally would like to. 


Sue: I totally agree with that. It is amazing in all these articles how unregulated the space is globally. There, actually in the United States, I think they're only two states that have anything listed to your digital likeness. But of course, one example is in California has really to do with celebrities and what to do with them coming out of film and things like that. But this definitely has to be part of that equation. Because I think, Lana, the takeaway for me is -- this is a hugely complicated market. There's so many things to think about beyond estate planning and stuff like that that I could really see the advantage of a doula that is staying on trend with everything that needs to be happening. And fortunately, right now, having the time to think about all that and having those discussions I think is really an opportunity we want to take advantage of.


Lana: I totally agree. And I think, actually, because the funeral home industry has really positioned itself so central in what happens when one dies in this country, that we think of this funeral home director might be a first point of contact. But they have a strong vested interest in their business and so, I actually know some death doulas. And I think it's a wonderful resource who's more, just like a birth doula is. They're not the hospital. They are your advocate. And so completely agree that we need, not we need, but there's clearly a growing recognition that advocacy is really important. 

And I could not agree more with “do not AI.” The DNR and the DNA, like that's for sure.


Raakhee: As I was learning about all of this was concept of a “death café” where, yeah, people having these death cafés where you meet up and have discussions about death. Whether, again, somebody is going to be making a transition or maybe they lost somebody and it wasn't such a great experience. Or like us, you're just sitting here saying, I know it's coming one day and I'm just curious about it and I want to talk about it. 


And one of the people who kind of started a death café movement as well, and I think she initially called them good-to-go parties, like good to go, and had this concept of these departure files. And helping part of her café was like you'd fill in these files where you were thinking about all exactly these kinds of things, like what do I want it to look like, and all the important questions, what should happen afterwards, how do I want to feel during that time, maybe like how do I want to go, all those things. I think that's really useful as well. And I'm sure AI will play a very useful part of that space as well. But I think how cool to come together in community and doing something like a death café that's really actually a fun experience.


Sue: And it's somewhat neutral territory, right? Because some of the fraught conversations are kind of breaking that stigma, that it's like morbid to talk about this, when you really need to be talking about it with your loved ones. And also being able to make a plan like, okay, if you're not going to engage with me in conversation, I still want to make a plan. So maybe I'll go talk to … like get a departure file. So you can know when the time comes, like what everything is that I've played for. So yeah, I like that idea.


Lana: Yeah, and I think, you know, it's having these conversations is actually life-affirming. You know, it does connect you back to, you know, what you value, right? How you, like the care that you have, whether you're on the side of planning for yourself or planning for someone else, right? That sort of thoughtfulness and that intention, it, I think, does help us realize time is finite and, you know, how we want to spend that time. 


And so, yeah, I think this, treating it as sort of like a very separate, or like maybe more like a chore or an unpleasant thing, kind of robs us of that view that, as Raakhee was saying, like it's all connected. And in that there's putting that sort of meaning into it and the symbolism, right? And sort of, it's a different way for us to communicate what's really important.


Thank you so much for a lively conversation and thanks to all to everyone who's joined. And next week, we're going to be in LA and we're going to do a live recording all together. And so we're very excited about that. And in the meantime, our website is horizonshiftlab.com and we post all of our episodes there, including the transcripts and all the links. So if there's ever anything that you're curious about, want to learn more about, you can find more information there. And also leave us a comment and we can have, you know, continue our conversation in that space. So thanks again and see you next week.


[23:10]

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